Marriage Myths EXPOSED!

What happens when the fairytale collides with reality? In this eye-opening episode of WE3 The Winning Team Podcast, WE tackle three relationship myths that might be sabotaging your journey to marriage: opposites attract, soulmates, and love at first sight.

We love hearing your feedback! Please like, share, subscribe and let us know which relationship myths you've struggled with or what topics you'd like us to cover in future episodes.

We love hearing your feedback! Please like, share, subscribe and let us know which relationship myths you've struggled with or what topics you'd like us to cover in future episodes.

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As promised...here are some thought-provoking discussion questions to help you reflect and consider a biblical perspective on marriage:

1. What experiences or influences (movies, family, personal relationships) shaped your beliefs about love and marriage?
2. Have you ever seen a couple who disproved one of these myths? What made their relationship work?
3. How does your view of love and relationships align with what the Bible teaches?

Opposites Attract – The Myth of Excitement

1. Can two people with completely different values and life goals truly have a healthy, lasting marriage? Why or why not?
2. Have you ever been in a relationship where differences initially felt exciting but later caused conflict? What happened?
3. What qualities are more important in a spouse: compatibility or chemistry? Why?
4. How does Amos 3:3 ("Can two walk together unless they are agreed?") challenge or confirm your beliefs about opposites attracting?
5. Instead of focusing on differences, what should couples prioritize in a relationship for long-term success?

Soulmates Exist – The Myth of ‘The One’

1. Do you believe God created only one perfect match for each person? Why or why not?
2. If there’s only one soulmate for everyone, what happens if someone marries the ‘wrong’ person? Does that mean their marriage is doomed?
3. How does believing in soulmates affect the way people handle conflict in relationships?
4. What does the Bible say about love being a choice rather than a predestined fate? (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Ephesians 5:25)
5. How can a couple build a strong marriage rather than just hope to ‘find’ the perfect one?

Love at First Sight – The Myth of Instant Connection

1. What is the difference between attraction and love? Can they happen at the same time?
2. Have you or someone you know ever fallen for someone quickly, only to realize later they weren’t the right person? What did you learn?
3. If love is based on emotions and chemistry alone, what happens when those feelings fade?

Chapters

• 0:00 He Who Finds a Wife
• 3:29 Season Two: So You Want to Get Married
• 8:45 Myth #1: Opposites Attract
• 18:37 Compatibility vs. Superficial Differences
• 25:07 Myth #2: Finding Your Soulmate
• 35:18 Loving Someone at Their Worst
• 46:00 Myth #3: Love at First Sight
• 51:42 Taking Time to Build Relationships
• 1:00:03 Positioning Yourself to Be Found
• 1:08:25 Final Thoughts and Questions to Consider

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

1522 says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with the Lord. The Lord, and this verse really provides wisdom on how a man will approach marriage and how a woman should position herself to actually be found. And so I was thinking about that. I said, you know, but a lot of times men are out there on a hunt. But I was like it wait, it says he's that finds a wife. And I said, wait, is there a difference between finding a wife and searching for a wife? And so, you know, as I prayed and did a little research, it's like searching implies striving a desperation or chasing after something without discernment. It's often it often comes from a place of fear that I need to hurry up, I need to find this thing because I'm searching.

Speaker 1: 0:51

But when you find something, it suggests that it's a discovery. It's a man walking in his purpose and he's growing in his faith and he's encountering the right person at the right time. A man is walking in his purpose and he encounters the right woman at the right time, which is which really reflects God's guidance rather than his own personal human effort. And so, when you think about Adam and Eve, adam didn't go on a frantic search, searching for his wife. God brought Eve to him when he was already fulfilling his purpose and doing what God had called him to do, and, and and. And. Adam was not being passive in the garden of Eden, he was working on and doing what was aligned with God's will, and in that process he was able to find. Well, god, of course, brought him, pulled it out his rib and brought it to him.

Speaker 1: 1:50

So so, when you think about a man trying to find a wife, he should one be seeking God first, seeking God first and everything, that he should be working on himself really, you know, not only himself as a man, but also his character, his purpose and his relationship with god. And then he should also be in the right place spiritually, so that he's looking for wisdom and not searching for a wife based on the emotional desperation that's on the inside of him. He should be, you know, trying to align with, with what god has called him to do. So Welcome to season two, episode two, of the Winning Team Podcast. I'm Eugene, I'm Latonya and we are the Winning Team.

Speaker 1: 2:56

We're excited about this season we're going to start off. Please like, share. Stop what you're doing right now and like it. Like it, subscribe, like, share, stop what you're doing right now and like it. Like it, subscribe, just please. We appreciate all of the support um that you all will be that have that you all have been providing, but please like, subscribe and share it with everybody, you know.

Speaker 1: 3:16

So we're now in season two and we decided to dedicate this entire season to talking about so you want to get married, but why?

Speaker 1: 3:27

Why so this episode and episodes before?

Speaker 1: 3:30

So, whether you're considering marriage, whether you're in your first five years of marriage and you know what, even if you've been married for some years because we've been getting feedback from people that have been saying that these, these episodes have really been helping them as well so, even if you need to press a reset on your marriage all of these go back to season one and now even episode one of season two.

Speaker 1: 3:51

But we believe that it's still possible to take a little bit of effort, but it is absolutely possible, and so today we'll be focused on a few myths myths and misconceptions that people live by when they're seeking to be in a marriage and even in a relationship, and so really, the objective of this episode is to help individuals and couples to recognize and challenge I know I can't, but you know it's okay but to recognize and challenge some of those common misconceptions about love and about marriage so that they can build a relationship that's based on truth and not those misconceptions. But they have to be has to be based on truth, intentionality and even some biblical wisdom, because that's important for us too, and so it's really about you know, doing all of that rather than setting them up on unrealistic expectations.

Speaker 1: 4:43

It just was really surprising when we, you know, did a little research and survey and to see all of that, rather than setting them up on unrealistic expectations. It just was really surprising when we, you know, did a little research and surveying to see all of these misconceptions. And so this season, in this episode, will really give them, when they some, some perspective on how to prevent the disappointment in relationships and really, when you're thinking about these myths, some of it really creates even some disillusionment, disillusionment, and so I think also it'll help them, encourage them to make some healthy decisions to create a strong foundation for their marriage and even help couples understand how to overcome some of those challenges, especially when their marriage is aligned with what God has designed for them. So we are very, very excited about this episode because we live in a culture that's absolutely obsessed with romance.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Romance is not bad, but commitment, yeah, we love romance, we do. We love date nights, we love a good date night, we love romance, but we haven't made it 23 years off of simply off of romance. It all has also has taken some commitment, and so, even when you turn on the tv, you turn on, go to the movies, um, even these well, I don't even talk about these love songs. I mean, we're gonna talk about love songs of the past, because it ain't no such thing as a love song nowadays.

Speaker 1: 5:58

But when you're thinking about media, they're selling us this idea that love is just so magical and that it's effortless and it's really written based on how we match and sometimes it's even written about you know how people match they? I hear people on social media always talking about what's your sign, what's your zodiac sign, and it's like that's really not what love is all about. But but again, that's what those myths and those misconceptions are about. But when real life happens, when differences create tension in your marriage and when the feelings fade away, marriage takes real work. It takes real work and we've said it time and time again, but it's work, but it's worth it. Yeah, but but when that happens, people then start to question whether they really married the right one. When, when marriage gets hard, it makes people think like, oh man, did I marry the right one? Because in their mind they've been again, disillusionment sets in and they wonder and they and they have thought that it should be easy.

Speaker 2: 7:03

Yeah, I completely agree with you. And the reality to things and like, really the hard truth is that these myths really become the way of trying to make love easy. So let me, I want to believe that and we'll get into some of these myths in just a minute. But that's the way to make things easier on you. If I know that this is what, if this is what I believe, this is how it should happen, when I go in it, and the reality is is that's not the case, you know, and so you begin to set yourself up. When you go in with these myths, um, about marriage and what it should be, you really can set yourself up for some heartbreak, some failure, and we want to help you with that. I want to. We want to be able to expose these. I don't want to call them lies all the way, but but I want to expose those, those myths and and be able to really say what is? How do you operate in hard truth?

Speaker 2: 8:02

you know, because when you get into these myths or go into it like well, this is what I, I believe, you set it up for places of control and trying to control situations because of what you believe, and then that sets you up just again for some disappointment and heartache, and that's not what we want you to have 100% agree not at all so we're not.

Speaker 1: 8:24

Of course we have. We've been debating about how many episodes these myths, because there's quite a few myths that we found, but today we're just going to focus on a few, and so let's start with the first one. And then there's a misconception that opposites attract, opposites attract, and so I know a lot of people say it, I've heard it all the time. There's even songs that have been written about opposites attracting, and so here are a few reasons why people believe that opposites attract, and one it's really around the initial chemistry that feels so exciting, and we hear it all the time that opposites attract and, yes, in the beginning the differences typically creates excitement. Because what I'm, what I'm realizing, is that there is, there's even a few people that I've heard, that they don't get with certain people because they think that they're boring, and so they'll'll be like, nah, he look boring, she looks boring. They just don't give them the intrigue that they really want. And and really what that's about is that you know a quiet person when you're thinking about opposites attract. You know, a quiet person might be drawn to a person that's outgoing. You might have a spontaneous person that may be drawn or fascinated by someone who can give them structure, and you may have an introvert that's drawn to an extrovert and you may have a free spirit I know that's us but you may have a free spirit. That's that's that's drawn to a person. That's really a disciplined planner. And and we'll talk about this later because people complimenting each other is one thing, yeah, but being just attracted to them simply because they're different from you, you know that may not. If that's the only reason, then that's something that you got to be careful of.

Speaker 1: 10:16

And so when you think about, you know why people believe that opposites attract and sometimes it's really based around personal experiences believe that opposites attract and sometimes it's really based around personal experiences. And so some couples do have, as I said, some complimentary strengths, as one is a dreamer, one is a planner. That could work out very well and that's kind of how, how we are. You know I'm the dreamer, you're the planner, but you know you dream as well, but making them believe that this is a seek, the secret to their relationship. And so when they, when people have had a personal experience, then they believe that this is the thing.

Speaker 1: 10:51

You know, it's anecdotal and this is one personal experience but, statistically speaking, for the marriages that have lasted in relationships that have lasted opposite is the track just not necessarily true. Now there may be some things that you like about them. That's opposite of you. But I want you to really dig deeper and we'll talk a little bit more about that. But over time, when you're really processing some of those differences, can become major conflicts in relationships, and that's what we want to try to avoid absolutely, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 11:22

I was going to jump in there too as well and saying that, like the start of opposite attract, you know, I think, is that adrenaline rush. It is, you know, physically that does something to you the hormones, and in what that that ignites in you.

Speaker 2: 11:43

But then, once you get past that because that adrenaline high does not last long who is that person? Can you, can what's opposite or that difference? Is that enough to keep you and maintain you in a marriage? And I think it's really important that, when you are looking at much like you said, there's some complementary, opposite differences. But then what happens when your differences in values and differences in even your faith become that friction and that tension in that? And is that opposites attract enough to keep you? And that really becomes the thing that can really break, make or break a marriage? And so you got to begin to to. You gotta look beyond that. You really have to look beyond that and go deeper into who that person is to know that if this, this is enough, this attraction, whatever that opposite was that attracted you, is that going to be enough to maintain your marriage?

Speaker 1: 13:00

I agree, because sometimes that attraction can lead to superficial differences and that's when we start to ignore am I really compatible with this person? And so, as you said, the compatibility really goes off of your core values and your long term goals, and we're going to talk about that in a few minutes. But a healthy relationships, healthy relationships are hindered when opposites are together over time, because it leads to constant friction and a lack of understanding. And so there's a difference between and when I, when you talk about superficial, like there's a difference between beauty and and what's attract, what's attractive, and I know you were going to talk about that later, so I'm going to let you talk about that in a minute. But attraction can be multifaceted. Attraction can be emotional, it can be intellectual, it can be physical and that's really start talking about spiritually.

Speaker 1: 13:57

You can talk about your compatibility, and so I was thinking about compatibility and the definition of it, and so compatibility is the state in which two things or two people are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. Now, I don't necessarily agree with the definition to the point of it says a relationship with no problems. I believe every relationship will have conflict, and conflict is not bad. But when thinking about compatibility, it's really talking about um, the temperament and the personality is. Do you have the temperament and the personality to navigate daily life? And, and when you're thinking about opposites attracting it's your similar values, your similar, similar goals, your similar communication styles, and even sometimes similar communication styles can, can, can produce conflict, but do you have what it takes in order to um, in order to get over the hump, when, when, when, problems arise?

Speaker 2: 15:01

Yeah, yeah, I, I agree with you, um, a hundred percent on that% on that. And you know, one of the things, if we're now kind of taking it, shifting that even from a biblical perspective, in terms of, um, just, you know, opposites attract, you know we want to just make sure that you're using discernment. So if you are, you know, a person of faith and Christian faith, you know, we not I often hear this term like faith got me out here living risky. I question that. I've heard that, I've seen it on a t-shirt and I'm like that's not even how God works, you know.

Speaker 2: 15:46

And so, in this idea of opposites attracting, you've got to be able to use discernment in who back to my point of earlier of who that person is. Because when you're looking at just the definition of attraction, it's really this your interest or what's evoking you into really wanting to learn more or something about a person. And so when you take that definition, marrying it, I believe, with what God has put inside of you, so that discernment or the light bulb may come on a lot earlier. Because now you're looking at I'm not sure it's too opposite of who God has called me to be or what I'm sensing in my spirit. Like we have a saying in our house, if it doesn't feel right, smell right, taste right, it ain't right.

Speaker 2: 16:46

Of opposites attracting that feel right, taste right, smell right may not be the thing that we go with, because it's too different from who I am yeah and it goes against who I am and it goes against what my spirit is even feeling and not to over spiritualize it, but if there is something in here, even if it's like, oh, he looks, oh she, she cute like okay, may not be my type, but but then if there is something in here, even if it's like, oh, he looks bad, oh, she, she cute, like, ok, may not be my type, but but then if there is, after you've started talking to that person, and there's something inside of you here that's saying no, go with that discernment, go, go, go with that, lean into that, because God has given that to you for a reason.

Speaker 1: 17:25

Agreed, and even from a biblical perspective. You know when you talk about. The Bible tells us to not to be unequally yoked, yes. However, problems can also like. Just because you're both Christians doesn't mean that you're equally yoked, absolutely. And yoked is to be connected together, and so problems can actually arise when two people are similar.

Speaker 2: 17:48

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:49

And so even some instances your similarities can actually cause, can be the source of conflict in your relationship.

Speaker 1: 18:00

Let me give you some examples.

Speaker 1: 18:01

So when you think about shared expectations and assumptions, so both partners might assume let's say, you know, based on past experience, may assume that the wife is the one that's supposed to be, the one that's doing all of the housework and doing everything around the house, because of traditional values or what they saw when they were growing up. And if that happens over time, that could actually lead to somebody feeling overburdened or or feeling resentful. And if a husband, or if it can even be flipped I've seen them flipped but either way, one person is is the one that's assuming all of the household responsibilities. And then, let's say, something happens and circumstances change that necessitates the other partner jumping in, and they don't do it because they think that that's not my responsibility, that's yours. And so even though you both had that expectation coming into the relationship where it was like, hey, we're on one accord, we have the same expectations and assumptions coming into the marriage, if you're not willing to adjust or change when something happens, it could then become the source or even a trigger in the relationship. So the traditional gender roles may have to go out the window or may have to evolve over time, based on where your relationship is based, on where your marriage is.

Speaker 1: 19:30

Another example is that if you both share similar insecurities or you both have the same triggers, so when you think about similar insecurities or even past trauma can trigger you when you're in the middle of a, in the middle of conflict. And so let's give an example. Let's just say both partners have abandonment issues and they may react defensively, um, or even perceive that one person was shading the other. So it's like if I get triggered because you say something that was certain kind of way and I receive it in a certain kind of way and we both handle conflict in the exact same way, then that's how someone can get stuck in a. Who has those similarities can get stuck in a cycle because no one is willing to be different, because no one is willing to be different, and so you can be in a cycle because somebody is thinking well, this is how I've always been. You knew that this is how I was when you married me, but growth makes you change. And so when you're in the middle of conflict, if you both handle conflict, or even the opposite, where it doesn't spark or trigger an argument. If you both are where it doesn't even it doesn't spark or trigger an argument, if you both are avoidant, and then y'all both go to your own corners and go to your own rooms in the middle of the conflict, then it could have unresolved conflict. That happens in the marriage and then it could build up and over time it could actually be worse for the relationships, for the relationship or the marriage.

Speaker 1: 21:03

So opposites don't necessarily attract. But we also got to understand, as you said, that it's important that you understand who your partner is, because if you don't, um, you gave a great example. So imagine if we both have an have a need to control the relationship and if we both have a need to control the relationship, we both have a need to control the relationship. And if we both have a need to control the relationship, we both have a need to be validated based on you know what's going on in a relationship.

Speaker 1: 21:32

This can manifest into arguments over decision-making, because it's a power dynamic that happens in a relationship where I'm making a decision and you want to make the decision. Or you go do what you feel is right, or I go do what I feel is right, especially when you're thinking about finances, raising kids, et cetera, and this can create a power dynamic in a relationship. So opposites attract is a myth, but you also in the relationship. You can be in a relationship with someone where all of your you have so many similarities, with some someone where all of your you have so many similarities. But if you're not willing to, to compromise or come to an understanding, it could actually be even worse. And that's that really comes around.

Speaker 2: 22:14

Some self-awareness and and growth and personal growth is necessary and I think, and then we can move on to the, to the next one. But I think, just you know, wrapping this up in terms of that, the myth around opposites um, attract, being different or having these differences is, you know, can can again be this adrenaline rush, can be this um, a bit of this excitement, but I think, when it comes down to now, is this the right person for me? You have to really begin to look at those foundational similarities so that, no matter what, at our, at our core, this is where we are, it's and it's okay.

Speaker 2: 22:55

I think you're two different people, so you're going to bring, you're going to bring in your differences, no matter what you know, so that that even in itself, I feel like, negates the opposite attract because you're never going to be, you're always going to be it's okay to be different it's okay to be different, you know, and so that, so you're bringing that into it.

Speaker 2: 23:16

But I think, when it now comes to grounding you, what's your foundational principles, what are the things that you are you finding that are similar again, those core values, your faith, how you see money, how you see family, um, what your beliefs are with family? Do you want children or not? You know, like that's a, that's a big one. It's really important to set those and see those and understand those and have a good understanding of that in the beginning.

Speaker 1: 23:45

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:45

So that even those things that are your differences now don't impact your long term desire for marriage or to to to have a lasting marriage.

Speaker 1: 23:58

Yeah, these are important conversations to have, and I love what you said. It's OK to be different, because I think a lot of times when you know Amish three and three, how can two walk together except they agree? But the oneness in marriage is not similarity and it's not the same. It's not about sameness, it's about becoming one in understanding, and so I think that that's something that people often miss, because they feel like they're going to lose their individuality if.

Speaker 1: 24:27

If I can't continue to be me, it's like no, it's not about you losing, it's about me learning who you are, because the advantage of marriage is discovering who your partner really is, and the excitement is in finding, finding out who, who they will even become, because, just because you are that person you know because I hate that you knew who I was when I, when you met me, but that doesn't necessarily mean that that's who you have to stay, because you got to grow, you have to evolve, and so it's important that you know it's not about being opposites, it's really about being aligned in faith and purpose and in values, as you said. Absolutely okay, cool. So number two uh, one of the great misconceptions is finding a soulmate, or that soulmates actually exist and if you really be honest, you know how many of us have heard someone say I just need to find my soulmate. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:27

I struggle with that, like yeah, because for a lot of reasons I struggle with that and I know we're gonna go deeper what is a soulmate? Yeah, what is a soulmate? So a soulmate, I'm sorry, no, go ahead, no, go ahead oh yeah good.

Speaker 1: 25:40

So the question is is that, when you're thinking about soulmates, like? What is a soulmate? So I looked up the definition is a person to whom one feels a deep natural and often spiritual connection, characterized by mutual understanding, acceptance and a sense of belonging. Gonna break down those few points mutual understanding, that they are thought to understand each other at a deeper level in that relationship, with a sense of effortless communication and shared values. So here's the question what do you understand and how do you come to that understanding? If you just met the person, it's like you have to go. Have you gone through anything? Have you gone through anything? And how will they treat you during a disagreement? Have you seen them mad before? Like all of those things help you to determine. Do you have a mutual understanding? Because everybody can be on one accord when, when everything is going well, and so mutual understanding is important. But. But you have to make sure that you actually go through something so that you all can still remain on one accord. And then it's talked about acceptance.

Speaker 1: 27:00

So soulmates believe that accepting each other's flaws and strengths creating a safe and comfortable space for growth and authenticity. But what are their flaws? What are their greatest flaws? Have you had a chance to see that? And you don't learn about that until you have spent some time and you did life together.

Speaker 1: 27:20

But here's one that I thought was important, that it said. It said creating a safe space, creating a safe and comfortable space for growth and authenticity. So here's the question do they know how to create a safe space for you? Yeah, have you been with this person long enough to determine if they know how to do that? And do they even know what a safe space is?

Speaker 1: 27:47

Because and I'm not just talking about physically, but I'm talking about emotionally, I'm talking about psychologically, I'm talking about spiritually, because you will never grow to your greatest capacity if you are not able to be authentically you and authentically yourself without feeling, without the feeling that you're going to get ridiculed, that you're going to be authentically you and authentically yourself without feeling, without the feeling that you're going to get ridiculed, that you're going to be judged or that there will be severe consequences to you being yourself. So are you willing to love somebody when they are absolutely at their worst? And I don't know if you just see a person and I want to get into the third one, but a soul mate does a soul mate really exist? Because there's. There's something else you got to think about, and I'm gonna let you go first and then I'll come back after that yeah, because now I think some, so often, people are like oh, you're my soul mate, you're like the perfect one.

Speaker 2: 28:38

But my question is always well, what is their soul connected to? And I need my soul connected to the lord, because you don't have as much as I love you you don't have a heaven and hell to put me in in jesus name. I don't and so I need my soul connected, but I also want your soul to be connected as well, and so I'm not gonna to the lord exactly to the Lord and so I don't.

Speaker 2: 29:07

I'm not gonna say, because I think in your definition you said something that was like pointing it that it said connection spiritually or something connection. But what is that If you don't know and you haven't tested that person's spirituality?

Speaker 1: 29:23

Which spirit? What spirit?

Speaker 2: 29:25

is that Because I may not want that spirit?

Speaker 1: 29:27

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 29:28

And so when you now get down to it, if you are now connected to, you're saying this is your soulmate, and so you have lost, sometimes, reality of who that person is because you feel like this is my person, they were meant for me, it's the perfect one. God sent them down for me. You have now began to idolize that person. They have become your God. And let me tell you something. Let me tell you something as I said earlier, you do not, you cannot become my God no you cannot become.

Speaker 2: 30:03

You can be the head of my household. You are, and so I'm trusting that. I'm trusting you as the head of this household. But my soul cannot be connected to you. It just cannot be connected to you, because now you become my God, and that's not what, that's not what God has called me to do, that that's not what he's called us to do.

Speaker 1: 30:25

So it's great, it's interesting. The impact of believing this myth when you're trying to find a spouse is it can create unrealistic expectations and lead to disappointment when relationships don't feel the idealized image of what they, people, have created in their minds. And so reality will never meet or never match the perfect expectations that we create in our mind. We can create the ideal person in our mind, and when we go off of off of that that perfect, perfect image that we've created in our minds, people don't understand that you will never find a person that matches exactly what you said, and so there there's always going to be a nuance one way or the other. And when you're seeking a healthy relationship, you can hinder the growth and and even discourage the effort, um, that other people may be taking in order to improve and to evolve. And then, when you're thinking about it from a Christian perspective, it's like the Bible does not explicitly teach the concept of a single, predetermined soulmate for each person, but instead it emphasizes the importance of choosing a godly spouse and building a strong, loving marriage based on biblical principles. So when you really think about that, if there's only one person who can do all of what I described in that definition for you. If it's only one person, then what happens when one person marries the wrong person? It creates a chain reaction. If soulmates really actually existed and there was only one person, that was perfect for you. If a person married the wrong person a hundred years ago, then that means everybody then from that point forward would have to marry the wrong person. And what if your spouse, after you, get with this soulmate? What if this person does some things and stop being that idealized person? Does that mean that they're no longer your soulmate? Because if, if a person, you get with them and they they, you feel like, oh, that's my soulmate, but all of a sudden they don't, they no longer match that image. That can lead people to ending relationships based on the fact that they don't meet that image that you created. And there have been some people who have really ended good relationships with great people simply because they didn't. They no longer met the image.

Speaker 1: 33:01

I was listening to this video earlier today and this this lady was talking about a mistake that she made in her first marriage and she said that her husband no longer met the expectations because she all of a sudden desired a different lifestyle. And she desired a lifestyle. She said he was a good man, a good husband, he was all of the things, check all of the boxes. But she I don't know where she was looking at maybe it was social media but she decided that she wanted this jet-setting lifestyle and so she left her husband to go get that jet-setting lifestyle and and all of a sudden she was in a very and she was talking about how much she regretted that decision because, but again, you know, something happened to that ideal person in her brain and and she started to compare. And so marriage and love is is a daily decision, but it's not that magical moment that we get from a soulmate.

Speaker 2: 34:06

Yeah, and I think one of the other things that's really important in this myth of soulmate is and if we're in the whimsical version of this idea of soulmate, but you can also begin to miss, like godly characteristics of a person, you know, because, to what you said earlier, around this idea of your ideas, idealistic person, and when someone who's come close to that idealistic person you now potentially are missing out on checking the fruit so what's? The you know what. What fruit do they have? Are they? Are they kind, you know? Are they loving?

Speaker 2: 34:50

and I know I'm quoting all these fruits of the spirit, probably all incorrectly but, thank you, husband love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control do they have the fruits of the spirit, like I know we've talked about that, um, a lot of times, but those are things that are important characteristics and finding your mate, not a soulmate, but in finding your mate, because those are the things that are going to when it gets hard and it gets rough. Those are the things that I want to come back to. You know, when I might not be so kind, are you going to still be kind and can you still love me? Will we still have joy in our marriage when things get rough? That's the thing that matters, not this idealistic of a soulmate, because really it's this feeling, it's a. It's a feeling. It's not necessarily looking at your, looking at that that person, and again who that person is and what fruit that they are and some people may say that that's how they define their soulmate, based on all the things and the characteristics that we say.

Speaker 1: 36:04

If that's the case, great. If it's not, the superficial things, if it is based on those godly principles, great. But so often when we're, when I'm talking to someone and we're asking the questions, that's not how they're describing it, and so what you have to do is think about are you willing to love someone at their worst, at their worst? Because when you're thinking about a soulmate and you're defining all of the things that you like about a person, a soulmate, because when you think about the vows, it's for better or for worse, it's for richer or for poor, it's for sickness and in health, and so so you have to think about are you willing to love a person at their worst, when they're poor and when they're not healthy? And and I know a lot of people's like, oh, because even in this today's culture, it's like no, I mean you, you're not even willing to marry a dude. That can only take you to Cheesecake Factory, and so that's how I know that people are marrying. I'm not going to marry a guy.

Speaker 1: 37:06

There was another statistic or a video I was watching and it was a group of men that were talking about that they would be willing to marry a woman who was homeless. Because they were talking about who loves better men or women, and it was an interesting debate and they were talking about how men love unconditionally. Because they was like it's not many women who would go and marry a guy who was homeless. They're not wrong, they're not wrong, they're not wrong. But but there's, there were guys, and it was.

Speaker 1: 37:37

The other one was it was a young lady who guy was a millionaire and he met a young lady who worked at Wendy's and they started talking. They ended up getting married and the the opposite. The guy asked the opposite. He asked the lady. He was like she was. He was like you have your own money. He was like so why wouldn't you see a young man you like all his characteristics and he work at Wendy's, and you wouldn't. And it was like she was just like no, you crazy, I'm not doing that. And so it was just an interesting she wasn't willing.

Speaker 1: 38:10

I know it ain't even about potential. It's about what. What do you desire, you want and you need, and is it based on external worldly things and so's just. That's a hard thing because, again, you could marry someone who is a millionaire and then he lose everything when you get together. Does that mean you're going to leave him? Does that mean that you no longer want to be with him, that you know something in life could change? And so what would that you know, cause you just be like I'm out? Would that, you know, cause you to just be like I'm out? So things to consider when you believe in soulmates is that do you have realistic expectations? Are you being passive and dismissing some of the things that you really need to consider Because it can lead?

Speaker 2: 39:06

you to missing out on or even ending good relationships if you're focused on you know those superficial things. I think the other thing, too, that I want to you know highlight is that in this concept of, of soulmate um, you also have to know thyself, you know you know you don't lose who you are for the idea of of a, of a soulmate, you know.

Speaker 2: 39:28

Stress that. I want to just stress that you know that it's really important to have healthy relationships with, with self-love and your self-acceptance, who you are in, who you are coming into any relationship is really really important. Um, because, if not, then again this idea of this is my soulmate. I don't want to lose this person. You know this. You've now put the pressure of having this perfect relationship because it appeared to be what you dreamed about. So now you're. You're missing out on red flags, you're missing out on even who you are as a person to keep this idea of a soulmate. So I just want to reiterate that it's really important to not lose yourself in this and making sure you know who you are and are confident in that as you are, you know getting into any relationship.

Speaker 2: 40:30

And then the other thing I want to you know, kind of highlight in this soulmate idea is that evaluate if you are able to grow together and I know we've kind of honed in on this point several times, but don't be so consumed again by that this is my person that you can't now see. How can we now grow together? Because if you're stuck in just having your person, then that's going to really block. How do we become, um, the you know the two should become one. This idea of what you mentioned earlier, this idea of oneness and oneness, is about how do you grow together, how do you learn together, how do you build what God has called you all to do together? And so if you're consumed by the fact that, well, this is my person and I got to make this right, I got to keep it right, you're now going to be fighting to keep it, to make it perfect and make it right, as opposed to what it needs to be.

Speaker 2: 41:41

So it's really important that you um, you know again are testing the waters to make sure that this is a person that you can grow with that this is a person that can accept you as who you are and to love you, much like what you mentioned earlier, um, and not get you know, just consumed by.

Speaker 1: 41:58

Yeah, I can give an example of that.

Speaker 2: 41:59

Even for us is that like?

Speaker 1: 42:03

of course, I pray that God would bless our marriage. But you know, god can do even more than you can ask or think and if you, you can also put God in a box when you think about. This is my soulmate, this is who they are and this is how I envision our marriage Like I never in a million years dreamed that we would be living in Illinois. When we got married, I thought that we would be in Michigan, and there's many things I can go down the list of. You know all the things that I envisioned and that I saw in our relationship, but God had other plans and so when you, when you do that, you have the potential of putting yourself in a box and you know a man that finds a wife, find a good thing and finds favor with the Lord I know we're going to talk about that in a second, so I'm not going to skip ahead, but I think that you know it's important to embrace not only the challenges but also the opportunities for growth within your relationship.

Speaker 2: 43:00

Yeah, I agree. And then the last point I would just say is that when you're looking for that, your relationship, and looking to build together, you know strong relationships are built. They're not just found, like oh, I just found my soulmate. No, your person, your true person, you are putting in the work. You know, you um committed to building this, this strong relationship, and that comes at the the start of your relationship and doing all the work that we mentioned earlier, getting to know one another, spending time, and that's why this um, you know, sometimes this instant uh relationship and I know we're going to talk about that in just a minute but this idea of instant love or this idea of this soulmate idea really can sometimes fast track you in a way that then you miss some key components to building that strong relationship.

Speaker 1: 44:05

I just had a little revelation about what you just said, and so I think that when you think about soulmate, what I heard was you have ingredients of a soulmate, and when you're thinking about ingredients, from a food perspective, you still have to prepare it. You can go get all the ingredients that you need for I'm going to say chocolate chip cookies, because you know I love chocolate chip cookies but all of the ingredients you need in order to bake the cookies homemade cookies but when you do that flour, eggs if you take any of those ingredients by themselves, it may not make what. So when you say it takes work, like it takes work to mix all of those ingredients and a person may have flour or whatever it is you're saying, but do they have too much or do they have too little? They may. You may have eggs, they may have too much or they may have too little, you know. So it's like when, when you're cooking, your relations with the bottom line is the person may have all of the ingredients, but do they have what it takes in order to mix them well and then to bake them? They may overcook them, they may undercook them, like so.

Speaker 1: 45:13

So you have to when you say, a relationship is work. You have to be willing to make sure you have all of the right ingredients, but then are you willing to do what it takes in order to make the final dish, so that when y'all come together, y'all are enjoying the meal together? And I think a lot of people just want to get some ready-made dough or just throw it in the microwave, and that's not the same thing. And so relationships take work, but are you willing to do what it takes? Even if they have the ingredients? Are you willing to build together and cook together so that what you have can be really special and good?

Speaker 2: 45:51

yeah, that's good amen, all right. What's myth number three?

Speaker 1: 45:54

myth number three is there's a such thing as love at first sight. This is every single Hollywood movie.

Speaker 2: 46:04

It is.

Speaker 1: 46:05

And every Hollywood movie and we understand Every Hallmark movie too.

Speaker 2: 46:08

I'm a Hallmark movie, I'm not doing a Hallmark movie.

Speaker 1: 46:11

But every movie it's like you see the man and the girl and they lock eyes and they just know at that moment that they were meant to be now of course the movie no, I don't even know if I we was in the club dance it was dark, I don't even know it took. It took me like three or four or five times seeing you and then I was like oh that girl cute, that girl cute right there.

Speaker 1: 46:36

Yes, whatever but instant chemistry. It feels overwhelming. And I talk about this. I talked about this earlier with the first one. And so when attraction is strong, people assume that it's love. But when you know what love is, love is patient, it's kind, you know it doesn't boast, doesn't keep. When you think about what first, corinthians 13, four through seven says what love is, how could you have love at first sight? How do you know if a person is patient? Nothing has even happened for you to be patient. You don't know them, so they can't be. You don't know if there's kind.

Speaker 1: 47:10

It says love is not irritable. You haven't encountered anything that's irritable yet, so that you don't know if that's what it is. So so what it really is, it's a boost of dopamine. And when you have that dopamine hit that floods your brain during those early stages of attraction, it makes you know your emotions feel so intense. And here's what I believe is that people live by this love at first sight because they confuse that passionate dopamine hit with love and then they become dopamine hunters. And so when passion fades and they believe that the love was not real, and then that's when they ghost the people because the dopamine, the pleasure senses that they got from that dopamine hit is no longer there. So then they go on the hunt again, searching for another interaction that's going to give them that dopamine boost, initial attraction, rather than putting in the work that's necessary in order to create those lasting relationships and a lasting marriage. And then they become addicted to the hunt and they avoid commitment.

Speaker 1: 48:30

And so you know a lot of times what will happen is that when they're the hunter, or they get that initial dopamine hit, when, when they see someone that they start lusting for, not loving there's many people who will see a person and then, when you believe that it's love at first sight, they may rush into the next relationship because they're afraid if they hesitate then they're gonna miss out on a once in a lifetime chance. But what they don't understand is that if you leave the person you with to go with the next person, you still are going to have to put in the work in order to make that real love grow, because real love is a decision. It's a decision that grows through commitment and shared experiences and love at first sight. You have no shared experiences, so how could that be love?

Speaker 1: 49:20

And really what happens is that you continuously, when you have this dopamine. When you're a dopamine hunter, you have this continuous opportunity where you just abandon every single opportunity to have a shared experience for the next shallow hookup and you never really experience what you're desiring from love at first sight yeah, yeah, I I come you know again completely agree with, um, with, with what you're saying and and really you know it becomes this, this place of infatuation you know, um, and like I just I saw it and I knew you know, and.

Speaker 2: 50:00

And I'm always like, well, what you know, you know what, what did they say? And so what happens when, um, what you see is no longer enough? What happens out over time? Much like even what we've talked about in the other two myths, time is, um, the most valuable commodity in a relationship. Yes, time, because by the time when you spending time with that person, you are getting to know that person. And often you see, um, you know relationships when they are rushed into and you're just spending all your time together and and and and. So I'm I'm saying time because you need that, but sometimes people are like, well, we spend every waking moment together, we spend all of our time together, but then, but doing what, though?

Speaker 1: 50:53

are they meaningful?

Speaker 2: 50:54

are they meaningful connections? You know are. Is it? Is it a hookup?

Speaker 1: 50:59

what are you getting to know about that person? What are you getting to know about that person?

Speaker 2: 51:01

What are you getting to know about that person? And is what you getting to know um? Is your projection of them or your view of them? Because this is who you saw your love at first sight. Is that getting tainted by what? Some of the realities of what you're seeing about that person? Because if you see in it, it's true. You know, if they leave this, these shoes on at the door and you tripping over them, that's that's going to be what they're going to do, and so is that. If that's the thing that's going to irritate you, that's the thing that's going to be irritating you. You know, no matter what, as much as that sounds like a small thing, that that's not so cute after a while.

Speaker 1: 51:45

But love is not irritable, so can you, can you, can you love them at their worst moment?

Speaker 2: 51:50

you love them at their, at that worst moment, and so that you know that becomes you know a thing. So again, taking your, taking the time to get to know someone, because if that person and you are meant to be in relationship with that person, it's going to time, will be your friend. You know, we often talk about how you know we met, but we didn't become official for probably almost I don't know almost a year.

Speaker 1: 52:23

It was longer than that.

Speaker 2: 52:24

Yeah, before we actually said we are in a relationship, we spent a lot of time together. We kept our individual spaces in terms of, like, you still have things that you did as a person, I still have my things. It wasn't now like, oh, like, I like him, I enjoy spending time with him. It was so different. You know, it really was different and we've talked about this before, but it really talked about, when I saw you walking with homeboy and I didn't say nothing to you.

Speaker 2: 52:54

We're not talking about that, I'm saying, but that was during that was during that period of time and so that this is true and I decided that I wasn't gonna say nothing because we it wasn't, it wasn't nothing for me to say a title.

Speaker 2: 53:06

You know it wasn't a thing, but but what that? I think our time, taking our time, um, and even taking our time getting married. You know, we tell the story often like we were together for seven years before we decided to get get married, um, and and, and we needed that time. You know, I'd be like why it takes so long, like I personally felt like I needed that time, I needed to know and understand what does it even mean now to be married? You know? Know what does it? What do we look like now as non-college students?

Speaker 2: 53:43

you know and getting to know and understand one another. So I think it's really important to take the time that you need and getting to understand, getting to know one another Again, using this spirit of discernment. You know, god gives us wisdom, and so if we operating on this love at first sight, is that wise?

Speaker 1: 54:04

Yeah, for sure, because initial attraction is often driven off physical attraction and superficial qualities. But true love often develops over time, as you said, and shared experiences and deeper connections. So we have to focus on getting to know one another at a deeper level so that it gets beyond that initial attraction. And that takes time. You know. You got to observe some behaviors and see if the tree you know what you said, are you saying what you're doing? Are you doing what you're saying? You know, do you have fruit that actually remains?

Speaker 2: 54:38

And even in 1 Thessalonians 5 and 21 it says do not stifle the Holy Spirit, do not scoff at prophecies, but test everything that is said absolutely test it, test it and hold on to what is good and stay away from every kind of evil amen, and how will you know if it's evil if you haven't had an opportunity to see? To see.

Speaker 1: 55:03

Amen.

Speaker 2: 55:03

And spend that time in that.

Speaker 1: 55:05

And so these, these myths, you know, I think that if a person is living by them, you have to ask yourself why do you believe that those are true, believe that those are true? You have to really ask that question, because if you're believing that those are true, then what is it about those that that causes you to believe that? Because Proverbs 18, 22 says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with the Lord. And this verse really provides wisdom on how a man will approach marriage and how a woman should position herself to actually be found. And so I was thinking about that. I said, you know, but a lot of times men are out there on a hunt. But I was like, wait, it says he's that finds a wife. And I said, wait, is there a difference between finding a wife and searching for a wife?

Speaker 1: 55:59

And so, you know, as I prayed and did a little research, it's like searching implies striving, a desperation, or chasing after something without discernment. It's often called it often comes from a place of fear that I need to hurry up. I need to find this thing because I'm searching. But when you find something, it suggests that it's a discovery. It's a man walking in his purpose and he's growing in his faith, and he's encountering the right person at the right time. A man is walking in his purpose and he encounters the right woman at the right time, which is which really reflects God's guidance rather than his own personal human effort.

Speaker 1: 56:47

And so, when you think about Adam and Eve, adam didn't go on a frantic search searching for his wife. God brought Eve to him when he was already fulfilling his purpose and doing what God had called him to do, and and and. And. Adam was not being passive in the garden of Eden. He was working on and doing what was aligned with God's will, and in that process he was able to find. Well, god, of course, brought him, pulled it out his rib and brought it to him.

Speaker 1: 57:18

So so, when you think about a man trying to find a wife, he should one be seeking God first, seeking God first and everything. Then he should be working on himself really, you know not only himself as a man, but also his character, his purpose and his relationship with God. And then he should also be in the right place spiritually, so that he's looking for wisdom and not searching for a wife based on the emotional desperation that's on the inside of him he should be, you know, trying to align with, with what God has called him to do. And so you know the same thing is true for a wife she should be positioned.

Speaker 2: 57:59

But I'll let you talk about that, one of the things as you were talking that came to mind, as it relates specifically to these three myths that we were talking about love at first sight or soulmates, or soulmates you could miss being found or you can miss um finding her yeah because you are caught up and distracted and distracted by these other things that are now really kind of the search, I feel like.

Speaker 2: 58:46

so, to your point of like the search or finding, these myths keep you in a constant search based on your own criteria, as opposed to what God has for best for you. Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 58:58

So, so that was, that was revelation. So to to wrap up even things in terms of just how you were talking about, so how should a woman position herself to be found? And so I, I often tell the story about, you know, I, I wasn't running to be a wife. You know, like that concept scared me, like what in the world you weren't even looking for a boyfriend.

Speaker 2: 59:22

I wasn't. No, I was chilling. I, you know we coming out of both of us were coming out of some um longer term relationships that we just needed to to breathe um, did he?

Speaker 1: 59:35

that was the song. Yes, that was the song. I said they weren't supposed to be here. That that was the song. Yes, that was the song. I said they weren't supposed to be here.

Speaker 2: 59:40

That that was the song that was like my mantra for that season of life. But here he is, um and so. So now, when you're thinking about that, like so how should a wife position herself? To be found, when we're looking at that, a wife is not supposed to be hiding, but rather positioning herself in a way that allow, aligns with god's plan, and that doesn't mean she sits around doing nothing. So, girls, you know, be cute, you want to be ready, you got to do some preparation you know you really have to do something exactly internally and externally.

Speaker 2: 1:00:13

so it's not just you know, your, your cute face cannot just be enough, or?

Speaker 1: 1:00:18

other parts of your body.

Speaker 2: 1:00:19

Or other parts of your body cannot be enough.

Speaker 1: 1:00:22

The only thing you have to offer.

Speaker 2: 1:00:24

That cannot be the only thing you have to offer. How are you preparing your heart? How are you preparing your mind? How are you preparing your spirit? You know especially your spirit. How are you preparing your mouth? You know especially your spirit. How are you preparing your mouth? You know what you speak and how you speak. You know to your potential spouse. You know there's a meme or something I saw or read, I don't know something I think I saw on social media that you can speak to the fool.

Speaker 1: 1:00:56

Whoever you speak to, that's how he responds. That's how he responds. So if you speak to the king or you're going to speak to the fool, whoever you speak to, that's how he responds.

Speaker 2: 1:00:59

That's how he responds.

Speaker 2: 1:01:00

So, if you speak to the king or you're going to speak to the fool. That's how, and so your words, your words, have so much power. So, ladies, as you're focusing and you're preparing because what we're doing, we're celebrating, we are excited about how you are preparing for marriage getting past the myths is focus on your relationship with god, like starting, starting there, being focused on who god has called you to be as a woman, as a woman chasing after god's heart. Be focused on that. How are you growing in your faith? Um, and so that you can be positioned to find a godly husband, develop your character. So, proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 woman is a you know, you, she is a blueprint. She is not, you don't. You're never, everybody's never gonna be that perfect.

Speaker 2: 1:01:52

Proverbs 31 woman but, I, believe she has a blueprint and some of that is clothed with strength and dignity. You know how are you, who are you? Do you are, you, are you not strong, but just just strength. You know what. What does that look like for you? Be in the right place at the right time, you know. And so, yes, we talked about we was, I was at the club, we were at the club, the club happened to be the right place at the right time well, it wasn't.

Speaker 1: 1:02:21

It wasn't officially the club, it was. It was that's where we, we saw each other, but again, we didn't know each other.

Speaker 2: 1:02:26

I don't think we really saw each other because it was dark.

Speaker 1: 1:02:29

We didn't know each other name. We kind of sort of knew who we were, but again, I didn't know you went to. I knew you went to Michigan State because we were there. I didn't know you lived in my complex. I didn't know that you, I mean we, we ended up seeing each other at home in Detroit, at the mall, and that's when I realized like, oh wait, a minute, that's that's. I think that's that girl. I danced with that one night. That's all I thought about. And then after that I saw you. We both waved but that was it. But it wasn't until the next semester when you came into the place where I worked and I was like wait, she live here and so you know. And what's crazy, again we said all the time. Then we grew up even in the same, close to the same neighborhood, same cross streets in Detroit, but just opposite sides of eight mile.

Speaker 2: 1:03:17

But in the right place at the right time but just opposite sides of eight miles In the right place at the right time. Right place Again, just as Boaz found Ruth in the field, a woman should be engaged in environments that really reflect her values. So you can't say you love the Lord but you don't go to church. That don't connect.

Speaker 2: 1:03:35

Or your actions are saying something different than than that. So, just in the last one, it's just allow God to orchestrate. So you know, don't, don't force a relationship. You cannot force a man to marry you, to love you, Cause if you, if you start in that way, you'll continue to do that throughout your marriage and you'll be tired.

Speaker 2: 1:03:57

And that's not real love. That's not what God has called you to do. That's not what that commitment looks like. So just let God be God and do that and I know people who are single. They're like just stop telling us let God be God, but it is about timing and God's timing and it works in your favor.

Speaker 2: 1:04:21

So, just prepare you, just making sure that, in this waiting season and in this waiting period, that you are preparing yourself and preparing for again, preparing your heart, your mind, your spirit for what's next and who's for you and who will find um and who will find you, in order to um be be ready, you know, and not falling into these, these myths.

Speaker 1: 1:04:49

But I think you said it a little earlier today, you were talking about discernment, and so it is waiting on God. But if you're busy waiting, if you're preparing yourself, you're preparing yourself to be seen, because I saw you like I could have walked right past you. I could have not recognized you ever again, and I just believe that when he's working on his heart, mind and spirit, you're working on your heart, mind and spirit. Your spirits will align and you will be seen. But if you're still frantic, looking for a soulmate, trying to find love at first sight, and you're searching from a feeling, then your spirits may not connect. Whoever it is that God needs to see, needs to align and say that you could be a potential mate for this person, then you all will miss each other, and so we're wrapping we are wrapping.

Speaker 1: 1:05:44

So, when you think about, you know, all of these, these myths that we went over today, you know, are you believing these myths is something that you have to think about. And if you are believing them, you know, are you preparing yourself to be the kind of person who can sustain a godly relationship? Because that's really what it's about, because it's it's not easy, and some of us have gone our entire lives believing these myths and not understanding how it will impact our relationships because we believe in them. And so what we've done is we've added a series of questions that you can ask yourself about all of these myths to the notes, and so I want you to pray about the questions and then answer them honestly and open, so that you can make sure that you can find your way forward. And so, just as an example, you know, you can think about what experiences or influences whether it was movie, families, personal relationships what experiences or influences shaped your beliefs about love and marriages. And when you're thinking about opposites attract. Can two people you have to ask yourself, can two people come with completely different values and and the life goals, truly have a healthy, lasting marriage? Why, or why not, that's if you believe that opposites could attract, and so, um, you can also ask instead of focusing on differences, what should couples prioritize in their relationships for a long term, for long term success? Then, when it comes to soulmates, you can ask a question like and again, there will be multiple questions that you can ask for each of these, but I'm just giving you one to consider while we're here. So, for soulmates, you can ask yourself if there was only one soulmate for everyone, what happens if someone marries the wrong person? Does that mean that their marriage is doomed? Is this something to think about? And then, lastly, for love at first sight, if love is based on emotions and chemistry alone, what happens when those feelings fade away? Yes, got to think about that.

Speaker 1: 1:07:57

So marriage is, isn't? Marriage is absolutely not about waiting for the perfect person to appear. It's about becoming the right person and then choosing to love them daily. I choose to be in a marriage with her every single day. I choose it, and so we would love to hear your thoughts. We would love to hear you know. What did you think about? What myths do you believe? So, please, you know, send a comment. Make sure you share your testimony, whatever it is. You have questions about marriage, something that you want us to to look at and to go over in a future episode. To look at and to go over in a future episode. So please like, comment, share, subscribe, because we're really excited about love and marriage and these myths have been. We have a few more myths that we may go over in in the next episode, but we're really excited about the next two or three topics, with the two or three episodes that we have for you.

Speaker 2: 1:08:59

And I would just like to add, in terms of just, we're hoping that by talking about these myths, that you know you're now doing this, you know introspection into who you are and looking at that and basing it on some of these questions, but we hope that you know you go in with a more realistic look on marriage, more grounded perspective and really setting yourself up for a fulfilling and lasting partnership or, as we like to say, team.

Speaker 1: 1:09:33

Yes, together we win.

Speaker 2: 1:09:34

Together we win, and I saw a quote that just said you know, remember that marriage is a beautiful adventure, but it requires intentionality, commitment and a whole lot of love amen so that's what we'll leave you with. We're celebrating um who you will become in this season of discovering who you are, so that you're debunking all of these myths about marriage and you're going in whole and healthy amen.

Speaker 1: 1:10:05

So thank you for tuning in again, remember to like, share and subscribe and we'll talk to you next time. Peace.

Speaker 2: 1:10:28

Thanks for watching.